“Thank God, you have a job. You would be able to deal with living apart from him”, they said.
True. It’s been ten months that he has been posted out and because of the nature of my work, I am trying to deal with the obvious facts and fears. Does that help always? No. Never!
You put on a brave face, smile often when you do not want to. You do not want him to worry about you and your parents to get worked up on living in a city all alone with no friends or family. I do cry myself to sleep many days, may get defensive and think Bhaad mein Jaa (Go to Hell)! Sometimes, I feel like telling him to leave everything and get back to me. I get irritable and needy. I feel exhausted and yes, it sucks big time. But I persevere. I keep waiting for the day he’ll come for a leave or the day we’ll meet and I try to keep my head over water till that day. I count down till the day we meet and keep it together meanwhile.
What do I miss the most?
a. The sound of his bike
b. Spooning at night
c. Nudging each other to open the door early morning for his Sahayak.
d. Unburdening the office gossips
e. Him calling out my name.. “Shalu…”
What I thought would help me in coping up:
a. Sleep till noon- To an extend it did! But how long will you sleep?
b. Watch back to back T.V. series
c. Online shopping
d. Eating Maggi day and night- Now that he is not there, for whom should you cook?
e. Not to think of him and the so-called separation
What almost kept me sane these days:
a. Write it out on your blog, in a diary, or send him love letters (which I never did. Oh why I wonder now. I was the most romantic sort. Pata nahin hua kya hai mujhe!)
b. Work!!! Oh, yes!
c. Get a hair cut or hair highlights! I did that and burnt my pocket! Could have got a return ticket to Thailand with that sort of money.
d. Learn something new- quilling, knitting etc. (Really???)
e. Have a ball of a time with your girl friends. (Who wants to party without him!!)
As Aditi Mathur rightly said, There is strong. There is Army strong. And then there is Army Wife Strong. So yes, I have put on a brave face to smile and march on. Hats off to those Army wives who manage to take care of their kids, schools, dogs and all that alone! At least I need to now take care only of myself.
So yes, we are Bold, Brave, Daring and Defiant!
I am Married to the Olive Green and I’m writing about the 26 things which I get to do/experience that you as a Civilian wife do not!
I hope you come back again tomorrow!
Meanwhile, here is an easy Chicken recipe from my Food Blog to try out!