I am a few months away from turning thirty and it has been four and half years since I got married. If you are a woman, there is a sure chance that you would know what I am hinting on. Everyone, literally everyone – from parents to friends, relatives, neighbors, maids, and the laundry guy is looking forward to spotting my baby bump. I shouldn’t be surprised for it started from the very first month of our marriage when a close relative subtly asked whether I have missed my period. Whoa! Seriously? No kidding!
Don’t get me wrong, but P and I adore kids, as long as it is someone else’s. They are cute and fun to be around. P is a child’s superhero and I look at him in awe when in a get-together all the kids gather around him in minutes and play with him. Not a single baby has cried in my arms and I have always made them smile. We love our nephews and nieces and our neighbor’s kids. But does that mean we are dying to be parents?
Everyone we meet looks into our ’empty’ life. They have sympathy in their eyes and voice. Some have even promised that they would remember us in their ‘prayers’. To have or have not is a choice and when it is about bringing a child into this world, I believe, it is a decision that should be taken by the couple and not anyone else. I know that to have children isn’t really a choice at all, for many. You get a degree, a job, buy a house, get married, and then…pop! A child should be out in months!
Believe me, I have thought about being a mother. But just because someone else thinks that my biological clock is ticking, doesn’t mean that I should be one. Sometimes, I even fear if I have a motherly instinct at all. I respect the young parents around me, most of them my friends. Some are miserable, some are happy. But many cribs about everything beneath the sky – the lack of sleep, the crying baby, the food, the poop. It is a huge responsibility, a life changer, and P and I have discussed in length and breadth about this.
We are happy in our lives and are still crazy about each other. We have a lot more to give to one another and may be, we are just being plain selfish. We love how independent our lives are at this point- being able to travel when we want, where we want, to pamper ourselves in some impromptu singing and dancing or to simply talk and do anything in our home without having to think twice about it. Or maybe I just want to take care of my health and get back in shape. Or maybe, we want the child to feel welcomed and not simply be an obligation. Or maybe, just maybe, FEEL R.I.G.H.T.
We are clear in our heads as to if and when it shall be. We even talk about the ‘name/s’. But I do not know as to why it is anyone’s business but ours! Spare me the ‘hey bhagwan isko kyun nahin bacche dete (Dear Lord! Why don’t you give a child to them)’ and the likes.
I’m linking this musing with #MondayMusings at EveryDay Gyaan. I hope you join us!