Having moved to a new flat and accomplishing the task of getting a “good” roommate, I had a great start to the Sunday. We were on our way to the theater early morning to watch the well-crafted, feel-good Malayalam movie Charlie, that I received a call from my husband. From the tone of his voice, I knew he was disturbed. But when he heard the elated me, he disconnected the call letting me know that he would call me back later.
My Sunday being hectic with having to rush from the theater to office (yeah, blame it on my job) and clearing a lot of pending work, I had little time to even check the FB notifications.
It was at night, after getting back home that I came to know of the #Pathankotattack. As I was reading the news, my husband gave a call and informed about Lt.Col Niranjan. His voice was trembling and I couldn’t utter a word out of shock and despair. Tears strolled down my cheeks as I remembered the cheerful face of the decent officer.
As my husband narrated the incident and the days they had spent together as comrades-in-arms, I sat dumbstruck when a thought crossed my mind. Anytime from now, it can happen to….
No! I cannot think that way. I cannot type those words.
We live a life of fear. Of alarm. Of terror. Of suspicion.
We at the Fauj are familiar with the saying, “Love your spouse with the opportunity you have. No one is guaranteed a tomorrow”.
The little girl is never going to hold her daddy’s finger. The wife will never feel his warmth or rest on his strong shoulders. Did you know that the Pathankot Martyr Garud commando Gursewak Singh was married only 45 days ago? No, we are a thankless nation and will continue to politicise the issues and pass insensitive remarks.
How can you justify this brutal attack? How can you justify this unnatural death?
I know for sure that this will soon be forgotten. Just like Maj. Sandeep Unnikrishnan, another NSG Commando or Lt. Saurabh Kalia. Oh yes, we will sure share a post in Facebook on 26/11 or Kargil Day (if you know which date it falls!).
When you tweet your heart away sitting on your cozy couch saying ‘we should put an end to terrorism and must fight terrorists ruthlessly’, just remember that these men who guard the frontiers will be the ones who will fight. And not you! These are the men who were in Utharakhand, in Kashmir, in Chennai and many others- anytime, any weather, any place. These are the men who believe ‘for your tomorrow we gave our today’.
Could you at least have the heart to pause and pray for the martyrs who sacrificed their lives for our nation’s security? Could you refrain from just saying ‘RIP’ and ‘Salute’ to them? I am not asking you to change your Facebook DP to the Indian National Flag like you changed to French when France was struck by terror.
Let the government take decisions. But as an Indian, as a citizen, can’t you understand that it is also your responsibility to guard the nation. Can’t you simply stop bothering if it is John who is on your left or Irfan on your right and worry about more important issues at hand?
Consider it as the lament of an Army Wife. But, my tears hasn’t stopped. With not even a body left with to grief for, can you feel what the family is going through? Is it okay if I wish that instead of joining the Indian Army, they had cleared Civil Services Exam so that they would never will have to fight to get a decent pension? Is it okay if I wish Lt. Col Niranjan should not have been a commando, a fighter of this ungrateful nation?
As fresh explosions are heard in Pathankot, I’m merely asking whether their lives don’t matter? Or is it that they are destined to lay down their lives since they had decided to put on their uniform- be it Olive green, Blue or Whites?
PC: ScoopWhoop
Your sorrow, anger and anguish are quite evident and I thank you for reminding us how futile our words seem in the face of a tragedy. Indeed it is a shame that our heroes die unsung and are soon forgotten. I can’t bring myself to click the “like” button but this is a truly heartfelt post.
Thank you for understanding.
Your angst is fully justified. I cannot commend enough those who voluntarily sign up for life, their lives and loyalties at the service of their country. A sacrifice so great……needs to be upheld and honored to the highest extent. My heart goes out to the martyrs and prayers to give strength to the bereaved family and friends. Stay strong dear.
This made me teary eyed. Salute to the brave soldiers. And more than that my respect to army wives who live a life of fear in this world where any moment another soldier might become a martyr.
May God give longevity to all our men in green. May terrorism end and peace reign the world.
Thanks for your kind words, Preethi.
Your angst is completely justified. You have put in perspective how ridiculous it is what we keep harping on while missing the larger picture.
Deeply emotional and real and powerful. *hugs*
I really do not know what to say Shalini. Coming to know about this from a person so close to the Army is like a slap. The reality and terror of the situation and angst of the families, sets in. This is really unfortunate and even more so, because we take it for granted. This status has to change, and let’s hope for a better tomorrow. Meanwhile, please dont be scared. Will pray for your husband and all our heros.!!
Tightest hugs.
Shalzzz, this is a heart wrenching piece. I do not think that we (the civilians) can even come close to imagining what it must be like to experience such terror on a daily basis. It needs courage… lots of it and yes, the men out there deserve utmost respect and the families utmost courage. I hope the horror stops soon… and peace reigns…. and no… a meagre RIP is not enough…
Shalini, when I saw the reports, I thought of you and Inderpreet and how you handle the stress as an Army wife. You girls are very strong. My prayers are with each soldier guarding the nation everyday. I have 3 cousins in the Army too and can understand the workings to a limited extent.
It just breaks my heart to read this. And for once, I’m speechless.
I don’t know what to say to this, Shalini. I can only imagine the plight of his newly wed wife, and his family, and it breaks my heart.
You are right, the men who fight to keep us safe deserve more than a RIP. The soldiers and their families will be in my prayers.
I immediately thought of you and Inderpreet when I saw the photos being shared on Facebook and wondered what was the point of it all: what are we fighting for? Why are we losing good men in a senseless war? You’ve put it so eloquently. On a personal note, this is one of the most moving pieces you’ve written. The raw energy, anger and grief comes through it and touches the reader. Hugs my dear and I know that’s empty solace for an army wife. I know.
I am very sorry for your country’s loss – for our world’s loss. I have grandchildren and I wish for them a world of peace. And you’re right. RIP is *not* enough.
How devastating and sad to read your post, Shalini! I feel for your hubs, for you and the families of those soldiers who sacrifice so much and put themselves in harm’s way, sometimes losing their lives. Heartbreaking. They are so brave and we owe them so much. I agree with Shailaja that your post is so full of emotion that touches the reader.
It’s really a touching post Shalini.. I really don’t know what to say and nothing will console for sure..
All the prayers for the brave men protecting us, giving up their today for our tomorrow!
Feeling so helpless..all the more so after reading this post…I truly hope, wish and pray that the slain soldiers’ families get some kind of closure…No amount of words can ever do justice to what the Armed Forces go through to give us the semblance of a secure life…May God watch over all of us..
The sacrifice of our jawans are often ignored when they risk their lives for the country. It was touching to see a daughter carrying her father on the shoulder and tears the heart. Where will such hatred take us!!
Sending you thoughts, prayers and hugs, Shalini. As a child I remember the fear of the ’71 operations – every day we would get reports and would wait for that one measly call a week from Dad.
The questions you raised are so pertinent and poignant…no easy answers.
Hugs to you Girl! And lots of prayers to the whole men!
Your angst is fully understandable. Every time I hear such news, first thing that comes to my mind is, Are we actually bothered who’s fighting or dieing out there just to keep us safe? Do we really understand the pain and loss the family have to go through just because he chosed to save such a nation, who pitifully fight in the name of beef n John n Irfan? As Corinne said, no easy answers. Just hoping for a better generation and society.
I felt your anger grief and pain. We take our defence forces so much for granted and forget that they are people too. Hugs.
I was in Amritsar when this incident happened. After reading your post, it gave me chills. Army is the real Hero of any nation.
I have a lump in my throat as I read this Shalini! Hugs!! I feel your anger, grief and pain…my uncle and my cousin brother both are in the army and I completely feel for you. We really take the Armed forces for granted.. It saddens me.. We need to be more compassionate and empathetic as a nation.
Lots of love n hugs…
I agree with Soumya. Lost for words, and overwhelmed by the emotion seeping through your post, Tommy. Not changing profile pics on Facebook, but my prayers for the souls of the martyrs to find peace, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart. And yes, hugs to you.
In my country (the United States) so few join the military. The families are left for deployment after deployment. The burden isn’t equally shared, and it isn’t just military. People working in embassies can find themselves on the front line without warning. I know two people in our Foreign Service who were serving in a country whose embassy was attacked (they survived). But they knew the people killed in an attack in a different country. Meanwhile civilians here go around minding their everyday business as if nothing was happening anywhere else.
Too powerful a post oozing with the emotions which can surely be felt. Really at a loss of words as (perhaps) no words or description can actually fathom the sacrifice of these martyrs and the plight of their family members. We are what we are because of these innumerable souls guarding us. Many thanks for this poignant piece, offering my share of prayers and condolences but (as rightly remarked) that’s surely not enough..
I won’t call this a post cos you poured your heart out here and I was touched. There are no words and no actions that can bring people back. Soldiers – on land, water or air protect entire nation but we fail them. Every single time. 🙁
How very tragic! My sympathies to all involved. I can only imagine the pain and fear you must be feeling, especially since your husband is in the military. My father was career army and I know the families do not have it easy. Wishing you and your family all the best!
my heart went out for you Shalini. My respect and salutations to you and your husband. All i can say after reading your post is : We civilians are lucky to have you as our gaudian angel. Always <3 .
My sincere prayers with them. I pray for every single being on this earth every day – in the morning when I wake up; in the night when I go to sleep. I can relate to your anguish. Your post teared me up. Don’t have words to offer in consolation.
Do we need war?
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Wow nice post thanks for sharing with us