‘Hold dear to your parents for it is a scary and confusing world without them.’ – Emily Dickinson
Isn’t it true that we take for granted the very things which most deserve our gratitude? How often do we pause, take a break, reflect on life, and be thankful for life’s abundant joy?
My mum is critically ill as I type this and a few days ago we were on the verge of losing her. Things are still worrisome but I’m trying to find a ray of hope. I can’t imagine a life without her and I can’t even bring myself to think of the dreaded question that looms over all our heads – ‘What if?’
My life was in ruins, only three months ago. I am not in the right mental space to disclose it. Someday, maybe, I will. I have been toiling in the dark every night until the sun rose. It took a lot of me to make myself normal. But then this happened.
Life is never going to be the same again even if she survives this. Somebody rightfully said that adulting actually starts when you are over 35 years of age. You have to deal with your mental and physical health, your spouse’s, your kid’s, and your career, and to top it all, seeing your ailing parents simply breaks your heart. You feel helpless and defeated and the frustration plus agony drives you insane.
Sometimes, I want to scream at the top of my lungs. On other days, I just go mum. No amount of meditation is helping me. And hence, I decided to put things on paper. Some respite. Some relief.
This was supposed to be a happy post. My husband and I were to celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary today, away in a grand resort, along with our beautiful dog, Mufasa. And I was hoping to come up with a lovey-dovey prose or poem. However, I just couldn’t. There are a zillion thoughts in my head and I am scared.
I urge you to give your parents a tight hug today. If they are away, give them a call. Talk to them. Because I believe, if there is no them, there will not be you.
Send healing vibes.
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Shilpa Gupte says
Tight hugs, dear Shalini!
I am praying for your mum and sending healing vibes your way.
Seeing your parents suffer can turn your life upside down. I hope and pray things get better for her and you.
Parul Thakur says
I am thinking of you and your Mum. This is hard and adulting is not for me. But no one has a respite and that’s what I tell myself. I really wish things get better for your Mum and you, Shalini.
If writing it down helps you, you must. Take care and lots of love!
Parul Thakur recently posted…My life, this evening, and some reflections
Hugs, Shalini! So sorry to hear about your mom. I’m praying for your mom’s speedy recovery and hope that you find the strength and the courage to face this difficult time with grace and calm. I can totally relate to what you must be going through now, as I’ve been through a hellish time over the recent years. Adulting hits us hard, I agree. If writing down your feelings and sharing them really helps, please do so.
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Mahati Ramya adivishnu says
Hugs Shalini. I agree it’s tough in your situation. I wish and pray for your mom’s recovery.
Hugs, Shalini. I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I am keeping you and aunty in my prayers. I hope writing about it helped you a bit.
Take care, Shalini. Sending you tons of healing vibes, dear.
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Sending loads of love and healing vibes for you and yours,
Prayers and good vibes to wash away all the pain, worries and health niggles of your Mum.
Seeing a parent or loved one battle ill health can be more daunting than we can ever imagine. I have been there so I know.
Holding you all in love and light.
Congratulations on your 10th. Sending you both and Mufasa love and light too.
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