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Musings

Broken Dreams?

“Many of us search for a purpose, mission, or long to live out some particular dream but never venture outside of the box where we feel the most comfortable.  What are the reasons for this?  Safety? Security? Fear? Rationalism? Are you living your life to your fullest?  Is there something missing that you are holding yourself back from going after?*What is it that you would most like to do with your life?  Are you doing that now?”

Do I have a particular dream- something which I miss, or regret not doing? How do I want myself to express to this world? It is Dance.

1Dance was something which I was always very proud of. Being a trained classi2cal dancer, I have won many a hearts and it was always a passion. It was in my nursery days, when I first danced on stage. I still remember, wearing a pretty little pink frock,dancing to the tunes of, “Lulu skip to mu Lou, Skip to my lou, my darling“…a popular partner stealing song and dance from the American frontier period. Lol, that’s a pic of me receiving my first award. 🙂 I still hum the song and I am sure Mom remembers the same. She was seated in the front row along with other proud parents. I was so full of content and felt like a superstar when I leapt in joy showing off my “Little Oxford Dictionary”.(That was the award, though).

I danced to be alive, it was freedom.. it made me feel I can fly. It kept me sane and express what I could not say. It was religion and my meditation. It made me feel free and brought me bliss. I danced to mend my broken heart.. I danced since it made me feel better. Dancing defined me and I danced because I was given the gift to do so.8ec8463889629dc73d660c38cbbc7ac2
A Bharatnatyam Dancer

Why am I referring everything as “was”!! Simply because I don’t dance anymore. Because somewhere along the lane, I had gotten busy scoring grades, joining a job and settling down in a20e82686b7f51cc334bcdeae522dea03 beautiful married life.

And today, when I look back, I feel as if I have lost something important, as if I have lost a part of myself. And today when I am asked to shake a leg at a party or a gettogether, I feel lost.And when I hear a ghungro, I wince.

It is true, “You know you are a dancer, when you have an uncontrollable urge to choreograph every song on your Ipod.” And I know, I am one. I miss dancing and I am sure, soon I will rise like a phoenix and continue my passion.

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