“Dear God, why do bad things always happen to me and me alone? It’s not fair. I think it is all my fault, I’m not good enough. I’m a loser and I will always remain one”. Have you ever had these thoughts? I have.
There are times in our lives when we wallow in self-pity.
We wonder why difficult things never happen to ‘bad’ people and why awful things happen only to us. There are days when we only see what’s wrong and struggle to see what’s right. Shit happens (sorry for the language!). We cannot escape from awful circumstances in life. You get angry, mope around, cry your heart out and also feel sorry for yourself.
But then, at some point, you ought to shake it off and not let it consume you completely.
A couple of years ago, I suffered from a broken heart. I will be honest, the whole thing shattered me. I blamed myself for all the horrible things that happened. I felt alone, abandoned, and unloved. My anxiety skyrocketed; I was overwhelmed. I fought every day to get up, go to work or do something good for myself.
I thought I will never be happy again. I was simply a hapless victim.
I gave in to self-pity. I cried in public, at work. I wore my swollen, puffy eyes like a medal of honor. I am not sure if I should mention the word clinical depression here, simply because I don’t want to use it loosely as most people do. But let’s just say I felt my heart being ripped apart, every single time I took a breath. I refused to be consoled or to acknowledge the love and common sense around me.
I only cared about myself and my broken heart.
Break Free from Self-Pity
I do have crying spells at times. But one day, I chose to gather the courage to lift myself up, smile more and take charge of my life. I refused to be a victim of self-pity.
“It’s all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are finished”. – Debbie Macomber
a. Embrace the fact that you constantly self-pity. Do not fight it.
b. Be thankful and practice gratitude. If you like journaling, do that, either in your journal or on your blog. Nothing is inapt. You can be thankful for a good cup of tea or a book you read.
c. Sit in the sun. I mean it. You never know if you suffer from Vitamin D deficiency. There is an unexplained change in moods, weakness, and fatigue. I for one was suffering from a borderline extreme deficiency. Thanks to the night shifts at work for five years, I always stayed in bed in the mornings. I had to get a shot and now, I make it a point to take a book, sit in the sun and read for some time, every single day.
d. Do things that you love– dance, exercise, travel, watch funny youtube videos, walk, or meditate. It helps you elevate your mood and also meet new people.
e. Spend time with your pet. Trust me, it will make you feel so much better. Do you want to know how? Follow @muffytales on Instagram.
f. Lastly, Hold on to hope and simply, make yourself a priority.
Tell me, do you wallow in Self-pity? What do you do to let go of the hurt?
‘This post is part of Blogchatter’s CauseAChatter and Blogchatter Half Marathon.’
That’s all for now!
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Sandhya Bhattaram says
Enjoyed reading this post and yes, it is very natural to feel sorry when having a hard time. The points mentioned in the blog definitely motivate a person in a positive way. Thank you for sharing this beautiful post.
Sandhya Bhattaram recently posted…Meadow of golden poppies
Suchita Agarwal says
Really liked the sun point. I remember reading somewhere how important sun is for a human mind to function well. I used to work in a building with no windows so rarely saw the sky. Now that I work from home and the window is right there, I can feel the difference.
Shilpa Gupte says
Oh yes, I am so very guilty of sitting on the pity pot every time something went wrong with my world. But, over time, I have realised it’s of not much use. Indulging in self-pity is okay, but just for some time, after which you really have to get up and flush it off, find something that sets your heart racing and do it with all your might. Life will always have such shitty moments. How you deal with those moments decides how you grow as a human being. And, this is exactly what I have learned in the past few years.
Swarnali Nath says
This happens with me too, Shalini. I am on a self-pity mode most of the time. But as you said, it’s you who need to be aware of this situation and finally have the call that you need to end up. I do reading, watching music and dance videos, writing scribbles when I delve into this phase. Loved reading your post and it resonated with my thoughts. More power to you dear. 🌸