I set foot in the Army Base at Pathankot after about a month of our wedding. Those of you who have read my last year’s AtoZChallenge posts about 26 hours before the Wedding would know that my husband, the soldier was about to move to some remote location in J&K, in just seven days after the wedding. Thankfully, he had his leaves extended to three weeks and then… he left, leaving me behind.
One fine day, I decided that it was high time that I see him. He simply cannot ‘abandon’ his newly wedded wife. Can he?
And thus…..I took a flight to Delhi. The very next evening, I was there, beside him. Obviously, he was shocked and by then, had started to understand what he had signed up for. The impulsive side of his newly married wife was just beginning to unleash.
Little did I know what awaited me at the Army Base. He tried to talk to me about his Regiment, who the Commanding Officer was, the 2nd in Command, their family, his friends, his unit officers, what company he falls in, and blah and blah throughout the journey from Delhi to Pathankot. Nothing was entering my head. It was so complicated and it was nothing but blah for me! I was just happy to be with him. Euphoric!
But, once we were alone, he laid down the basic rules to survive the day.
Rule #1: Address the officers by their Rank and Name.
Rule #2: The wives are addressed according to their husband’s name. i.e Mrs.So and So.
This impossible task was in front of me. Because I should ideally know their names as well as the officer’s name in a short span of time.
Coming from the corporate world, I could address them only by their names. Or at the most, it was just Sir, and Mam’ that came out of my mouth. How on earth are you going to remember everyone’s rank? How can you show discrimination towards the ladies, because as far as I was concerned, they were all elder to me? And most importantly, how do you acknowledge when the Commanding Officer calls you Mam?
In the evening, an official party was arranged to welcome the new bride to the Unit. It was our “Dining In” ceremony. After the so-called ragging by the seniors, I felt comfortable. The bunch of Army kids joined me and was warming up to me. I played with them- Dumb Charads and the likes.
While I was feeling a sense of pride and content at having been good with the kids, one among them said, “Aunty, you are so pretty!”
I was shocked and taken back and not a least bit happy about what she said.
You’ve got to be kidding me!
Here I am…a girl of 24 being called Aunty by a 16-year old!
And how can he keep this vital info/’rule’ from me?
After the Party, I confronted him about this scenario, “I don’t look like an Aunty!” He smiled and assured me saying, that is how it is. All the Army kids are to address the Officers and wives as Uncles and Aunties, irrespective of their age. Else, once the familiarity and understanding settles in, they become didi, dada and the likes. But for now, I was just a new bride and had to jump through all the hoops laid out for me.
Gosh, they can call me by my name or at least Didi.
But, No!
Army and their traditional way of addressing others! Phew!
So, what do you think? Is it embarrassing if your Project Lead calls you Mam? Or you addressing him by his position/role? Is it okay if your family friend’s 16 year old daughter calls you Aunty when you are only 24 yourself? But, wouldn’t you be on cloud nine when you are showered upon with such love and chivalry by the men in Uniform?
I am Married to the Olive Green and I’m writing about the 26 things which I get to do/experience that you as a Civilian wife do not!
I hope you come back again tomorrow!
Meanwhile, here is one of the 26 easy Chicken recipes from my Food Blog to try out!
I’m on co-host Pam’s Unconventional Alliance Team along with Parul from Happiness and Food, Rajlakshmi from The Twinkle Eyed Traveler, The Poetry Wagon, and Destiny’s Child and Claire from A Field Trip Life
Mr.Oliver ☺☺ so cute ….loved it.
@dixita011 from
Cafenined words
Thanks very much, Dixita. Off to your space now! 🙂
Being addressed as Aunty at 24 would not have gone down easier with me too. The ways of army life is different from that of civilians. It is great that you plan to come up with your personal experiences of army life. Consider me hooked 🙂
Thanks very much, Mam. I hope you would love the upcoming posts too. 🙂
I would imagine once you learned the ropes, so to speak, it does make it easier to remember who to address by their “proper” names, etc. It would be confusing in the meantime and I probably would be very quiet and observe a lot before I spoke a lot 🙂
betty
True, Betty. But when you are bombarded with at least 1-15 families and you are expected to talk to them. 🙂 I tried keeping quiet, nodding my head, smiling and talking in monosyllables. Didn’t work 😛
I hear you Shalz , treaded that path very closely you see. At 16 year olds have called 24 year old newly commissioned officers as uncles 🙂 LOL
Being an army kid completely changes your perspective to things. The respect and chivalry [ and good old British tehzeeb] it all comes with the package .. Your theme that’s why is amongst my favorite . I would be living my childhood via these posts .. going to be back for more!
So glad to have your support, Chandni. 🙂
And yes, this ‘tehzeeb’ and chivalry was what made me fall head over heels in love with him- over and over again! 🙂
Ahhh!! Look at you .. I hope your husband follows your blog? wink wink
Oh the rules and how to do what things. Must be hard to remember all that. Isn’t it? On calling aunty – i too have been addressed the same when I first came to Bangalore. 😉
It’s so weird, Parul 🙂
I was embarrassed and annoyed at the same time! 😛
I love this story! It literally makes me want to devour your blog. Looking forward to reading more.
Mary
Twitter: @KnottyMarie
Literary Gold
Jingle Jangle Jungle
Thanks very much, Mary. Keep visiting. 🙂 Off to your space now!
I loved last year’s theme and posts, and after reading this post I’m pretty sure you’re going to amaze me this year too 🙂
All the best for the challenge. The first post really rocked, mam. 😀
Aww.. so sweet of you to say that, Mithila. And No, don’t call me Mam. 🙂
Hahahaha I totally agree with uncle and aunty.. And i am so used to it that i called a young officer uncle even thoughhe was just few years older . Since it’s ingrained to call all colleagues of dad as uncle and all jawans as bhaiya.
How weird is that, right, Raj? Oh!! I am still not used to this! 🙂
Aunty, I loved the blog post 😉 😛 Ok Didi* All the best.
A – The Art Attack
Hawww…. After all this??? :O
Thanks anyway 🙂
😛 Haha
It was such a cute post Shalini.. Being addressed as Aunty, just because you’re married is not happening..! It happened with me as well.. And by elder children as well and it sucks.. But I think now I don’t think about it anymore.. 🙂
The picture looks so cute.. waiting for more to come 🙂
Love,
Geets
Thanks very much, Geetika. I’m still not used to this. May be someday, I will be. 🙂
Keep visiting. Off to your space now!
Can totally relate to every bit of what you have written. Before I got married, the only time I had come across” Ma’am ” was whan I had to address ,y teachers. And all of a sudden, post marriage I was being addressed as Maam. I felt a little wierd intially!!!
Haha! Weird is the right word! I still feel so. 😛
Thanks for dropping by. Keep visiting!
Hey Shalini, this was too good! I can completely identify with the feeling! Once married, you automatically get upgraded in the address systems! But seriously….Aunty you are PRETTY! Hehehe! Looking forward to reading more of your army tales!
Haww.. that’s really bad! You too, Brutus ! 😛
Thanks for stopping by, Kala. I’m heading over to your place to checkout the interior designing tips! 🙂
Hahah…quite a promotion there! Even I had written a post ‘Aunty Angst’ (http://mysilverstreaks.com/2016/02/24/aunty-angst/)– I feel your pain girl 😉 Great start to the challenge – look forward to reading more.
Glad you could relate to my experience, Mam. Keep visiting! 🙂
hahaha..it reminded me of my own inhibitions at being called ‘aunty’! It was fun to read Shalini….at least he got the ‘Pretty’ right!! looking forward to more!
Shubhangi @ The Little Princess
Woh yay!! 🙂 Thanks Shubhangi. I’m off to your space now! 🙂
Aunty indeed! Yes the change to this social atmosphere can be a challenge but we get used to it soon enough. Great start to the challenge! 🙂
Great post! I just turned 24 too, and I’ve had some random kids on public transport call me aunty. Needless to say, I complained about it too! 😛 😀
What an amazing theme for the A to Z Challenge. And I absolutely loved your narration <3
I'm sure, any young girl would have been left offended had she been in your shoes.
I can't wait to read what follows in the series 😀
Just wait till you are called “Mummy” by every one including the Bhajiwalla
You are definitely pretty, Aunty! 🙂
Loved your first post and I am sure I am going to enjoy the rest, Shalini! Hugs!
Hahaha… the first time you are called Aunty, it hits you hard! Loving your theme, Shalini. Looking forward to more Army wife’s stories and tales. Cheers ♥
Yes, the aunty bit is a bit scary! I loved the fun tone of your post. Great going!
HAHAHA being called an Aunty at 24, my my… you didn’t throw a fi?!t 😀
Very interesting theme, Shalini and a very entertaining post too! I guess, adapting to this protocol system will take time so, keep smiling and enjoying your experiences until then 🙂
Lovely anecdote and an awesome concept for the challenge… and how are you managing 2 AtoZ’s simultaneously!!! respect!!
Interesting read! I had similar experience but at a different front. While I shifted from a government to a private job addressing people became tough. earlier designation meant using Sir or Madam but at the new place, everyone was addressed by their first names. Waiting to read
more from the front 😉
As Time Flies>
Last year loved reading your wedding story and now this. You know that I enjoy your writings, nah. All the best dear. 🙂
It’s funny as one moves between cultures how different the rules are. In the United States being called Auntie at any age wouldn’t be offensive at all, in Latin America everyone is either called Senora, Senorita or Vecina (neighbor). Even the military is a culture all it’s own. It sounds like you are handling it well. Wishing you all the best!
@ScarlettBraden from
Frankly Scarlett
Girls always like being complimented that they look younger. Tell your friend she looks 5 years younger than her actual age. See how she will brighten up. I am 32, unmarried and I have been hearing my niece and nephews calling me aunty ever since I was in 13years old. I have no problem in being called as aunty as it indicates the relation I have with the one who calls me aunty – in hindi bua, maasi and I am also a a grandmother as my nieces’ have school going children and they call me nani too…infact iam the most happening and coolest aunt and grandmother of my family.
Shalini, I was chuckling right through your post. I loved it! It is strange but I have grown up with army folks in the family and their visitors popping in so I can well imagine the scenes. It’s a parallel universe, most times. I can’t wait to discover more about your journey as an army wife. 🙂
I loved your post. Brilliant write up. I was in KV, surrounded by friends whose parents worked in the Armed forces or Navy. And I have experienced this. And about being called aunty. I was in class 12 and called a guy uncle , he addressed be back as aunty. It was embarrassing but for him probably insulting . For me I was still the small girl attending the school. So from them on I address people by their names.
I loved ur post as I’m very fascinated by Army life and would like to experience it some day. No matter how difficult it is or how it is but experience is experience. You get to see the other side of those macho men. Btw, Mr. Oliver is lucky to have wife with brown eyes 😉 Also, you mentioned you get this Aunty, called by a boy or girl as first you said she commented, then you wrote, he commented, please cross- check and confirm…though it hardly matters. Now, I’m waiting for more posts coming from you…
@bloggerabhi1 from
StyleBurp Waiting for your visit 😉
It is different culture out there. Yes in the corporate world we take it to the other extreme. Once my mother after visiting my office on a family day, thought I was completely mannerless when I addressed my grey haried super boss as ‘Paddy’. I tried telling her he would pissed if i called him ‘Sir’. But she would’nt believe. You would’nt call your father-in-law by his pet name would you ? she asked.
Actually that way those of us from the corporate world in India live a Jekyll and Hyde existence. It is a seemingly flat hierarchy in the corporate world whereas when we are back home some of us would’nt even call our husbands by their first names in front of the in-laws.
May be this will change in the next generation.
Nice post on a seemingly trivial incident. It got me thinking
Aunty!! I can imagine the horror on your face!! :O
And that’s cute logo for AtoZ! Love it!
Aunty? I would have called the 16 year old grandma 😛
I so love your theme Shalini. All the best 🙂
Oh the pains of marriage!! When I got married teenage kids in our building were used to calling my husband bhaiya and after our wedding they called me ‘aunty’. I had to point blank ask them to use correct pair of addressing us 😀
I would have freaked out but would have called the 16 year old grandpa/ grandma 😛
Hello, Shalini! I found your link back on The Doglady’s Den comments and decided to read your A2Z post. It’s nice meeting. Now, these sorts of things wouldn’t bother me. It never has! I remember when I was working. I was 25 years old at the time and I had hired some higher school kids for the summer to do filing in my department. Anyway, one day one of them asked how old I was and I told them. That’s when they told me that 25 was old. I laughed out loud remembering once upon a time thinking the same thing. I told them I use to feel the same way and one day, they’ll be in my shoes and realize 25 isn’t that old at all. I understand and respect the Army protocols. I would not remember the names let along the ranks of each person on short notice and maybe at length without an on-going relationship. While you’re just a child yourself, don’t be insulted with titles, like ma’am or aunty. At least the 16 year old said you’re pretty and that trumps aunty any day, in my opinion. 😀
Curious as a Cathy
All Things Vintage: Artists #AprilA2Z #BoTB
Though I was shocked like you the first time I was called Aunty, I have kind of made my peace with it now 😀 I love your theme btw. And how how are you managing 2 blogs for the challenge? Hats off to you girl!
hehehe this was a funny and interesting read 🙂 i guess being called has nothing to do with age. the whole idea of being called as aunty comes in when you get married. EVERY MARRIED WOMAN IN INDIA WHETHER SHE IS 18 OR 30 IS AN AUNTY 😛 😛
looking for B already sahodiri 😉
@sneha_sasi from
Life As a Potpourri
What a lovely post!! Looking forward to your remaining posts Shalini 🙂
hahah! I still don’t like being called aunty.. so young and newly married… haha! I totally get your reaction! interesting series. Looking forward to your posts.
Everything is so formal in the military. 🙂 I imagine being called “Aunty” in India is the same as Ma’am, here. It would definitely make you feel old.
Enjoyed this, Shalini. I definitely had a lot of ‘uncles’ and ‘aunts’ growing up. 🙂
Haha that must have been quite an experience being called an aunty at 24 :P. That reminds me of the dialogue “Mujhe Aunty mat kaho naa” :P.
This makes me smile! It always take a bit of time to figure out new situations. I’m sure you were a quick learner.
Was totally lost in your post Shalini. Opps sorry Mrs. Olive Green 😀 What a lovely post.
I was in the military and had to take classes to not only know all the ranks of our service but the other branches as well. I think formality and ordre is a good thing for the military to uphold. Enjoy!
I’m A to Zing in April from Fill the Cracks for orphans of Ebola and
Moondustwriter’s Blog
Will come back for more Shalini… ! for more 5 course meals by the mam of an olive green 😛 😛
Hi Shalini,
I enjoyed reading about your experience. And I like how you put your thoughts into words.
Will surely come back to read more 🙂
–Nimi
http://www.NimiArora.com
Thank you for sharing your interactions with army folks, which we civilians rarely get to know about. Pls convey my gratitude to your husband and his colleagues for their role in keeping India safe and to their spouses for supporting them.
Eeks Aunty!! Even when I turn a hundred I’m not going to appreciate that word.
Wow. Such clever and cheeky insights. Will follow religiously and get more inside gyaan 🙂
haha!! Made me smile but quite a well groomed teen, I guess, sprinkling compliment and respect. I am enjoying reading about your insight into Army Life, the decorum and culture from an Aam Aadmi perspective.
You should read Vikram Karve’s blog:)
Hmm. True. You and aunty don’t go hand in hand. But some rules are rules, maybe there for a reason, alle? 🙂