“Shalu, I got my posting order. It is to Kupwara”.
“Kupwara? Where is it?”
“J&K”
“What? Would you be allowed to take me too?”
“Do you want to come along?”
“Of course, what question is that!”
“What about your job?”
Now, that silences any army wife with a decent enough career.
“It’s okay. You continue with your job here.”, he says. “But this is going to be our life, dear. And you should know that. May be this time you could ask for a transfer to Delhi. We could travel up and down and manage somehow this time. But what about next? What if I am posted to those goddamn places you always talk about? What if it is Shillong or Arunachal or Jaipur?”, he laments.
“What do you want me to do? Leave my job? What would I do then? Sit at home, cook, clean, sleep and wait for you all day long? We don’t have a baby! Not even a dog!!”
“Dog? You want a dog now? How many times have I told you that it is a responsibility. That with us moving around every two years……”
“God! That’s not the point!”, I cut him off in between. Men, I tell you!
After about ten minutes of him wondering what I would have meant, he continues, “You know what! You should get a B.ed. All Army Wives do that. There are likely to be army schools where ever I am posted and you could teach. You wouldn’t have to sit at home. You wouldn’t be bored too”.
“You got to be kidding me! You want me to become a school teacher? After my M.Tech? Here I was thinking about enrolling for Ph.D and you are.. you! Oh God!”
This is a typical scenario in all Army homes. I could bet my life on that. This conversation would have popped up at least once and may be, just may be the outcome would be different. I respect the ladies who have decided to sacrifice their career, something which they spent their youth studying for, working for! And I do not have any loathing towards teachers as well. My Dad is one and I have utmost reverence. But being forced to or choosing such a career just because you do not have any option is sorrowful.
And could we blame the Officer for this? No, what’s the point in being married if you are going to stay separately? This conversation had happened at least a fifty times now in our three years of marriage. Of course, with no definite conclusion! As they say, life goes on….
P.S: I continued with my job and it’s now been ten months since we are living apart. And if I decide to leave my job and join him, it would be because I have thought over it day and night.
I am Married to the Olive Green and I’m writing about the 26 things which I get to do/experience that you as a Civilian wife do not!
I hope you come back again tomorrow!
Meanwhile, here is an easy Chicken recipe from my Food Blog to try out!
I’m on co-host Pam’s Unconventional Alliance Team along with Parul from Happiness and Food, Rajlakshmi from The Twinkle Eyed Traveler andDestiny’s Child and Claire from A Field Trip Life
throughthewindowoflife says
Oh No, I am facing the same these days, though we both work for corporate. He wants to go for higher studies and I don’t want to leave my job.
So don’t know what to do.
Got inspired by your stand to keep working and let him go.
Well done Shalini !
Parul Thakur says
Oh!thats a super hard decision 🙁
kalaravi16 says
Oh dear, it is definitely a well-justified tussle! It is so difficult to resolve this difficult issue. I do hope, you come to a suitable solution! In the meanwhile, keep smiling, things will fall in place, they always do!
@KalaRavi16 from
Relax-N-Rave
Bikramjit says
Well I am sure what ever you guys descide it will be for the best…
My best wishes and all the best..
Lata Sunil says
Good that you are deciding to do what you want to do.. Whats love without a little separation.
Archana (@yenforblue) says
A perennial debate among defence couples. Glad that you made a mutually acceptable decision. Good luck!
@yenforblue from
Spice of Life!
Dahlia says
It is a tough choice….
Sunila Vig says
Hmmm the quandry lots of couples face today and more so army people of course. Shalzz I have a friend, an army wife and they have lived apart almost all their married life, meeting for special occassions for them and the two boys….
http://www.sunilavigauthor.blogspot.com.au/2016/04/trishanku-swarga-letter-t-of-a-to-z.html
Cafenined Words says
Hugs*
This is something sad
Sweety (Kokiash2015) says
Hats off to you woman !
Shilpa Garg says
It’s a tough decision for sure!!
My Era says
It’s a tough call.
May the coming time help you decide with clearer choices.
{Hugs}
My Era says
It’s a tough call.
May the coming time help you decide with clearer choices.
{Hugs}
richajindal says
It’s your call gal your life set your priorities n see what is on top of the list & decide. Thought it’s not a easy task but you need a decision…..
@2richajindal
http://richajindal.com/twist-foods/
http://jindalpackers.com/blog/time-management/
leprechaunrabbit says
LoLoL! Dearie, *that* conversation is very typical; it is rare when the military person is the wife and the husband is civilian, but still similar.
I was lucky. My late wife (first) was involved in security and law enforcement. She was never bored and seldom home. My second wife (ex) was also military; saw even less of her.
Come to think of it, it’s shy of a lottery win that we had time for a family!
Sir Leprechaunrabbit
@leprchaunrabbit
https://yourrootsareshowingdearie.wordpress.com
leprechaunrabbit says
LoLoL! Dearie, *that* conversation is very typical; it is rare when the military person is the wife and the husband is civilian, but still similar.
I was lucky. My late wife (first) was involved in security and law enforcement. She was never bored and seldom home. My second wife (ex) was also military; saw even less of her.
Come to think of it, it’s shy of a lottery win that we had time for a family!
Sir Leprechaunrabbit
@leprchaunrabbit
https://yourrootsareshowingdearie.wordpress.com
whimsicalcompass says
It’s great that you are working towards your ambitions while also being the army wife that you are. I feel it is important to realise one’s dreams, otherwise we would start to despise the reason for leaving my job.
whimsicalcompass says
It’s great that you are working towards your ambitions while also being the army wife that you are. I feel it is important to realise one’s dreams, otherwise we would start to despise the reason for leaving my job.
Rajlakshmi says
it’s a very tough decision and a very personal one too. Only the ones going through this situation can understand what a dilemma it is. I hope you guys find a solution 🙂
A Whimsical Medley
Twinkle Eyed Traveller
Rajlakshmi says
it’s a very tough decision and a very personal one too. Only the ones going through this situation can understand what a dilemma it is. I hope you guys find a solution 🙂
A Whimsical Medley
Twinkle Eyed Traveller
Vinay Leo R. says
Hmm. Yes. You mentioned the tussle in an earlier post too. And when the time comes, I think you’ll take the right call. 🙂
P.S: on a different note, B.Ed isn’t so bad. I’m seriously considering it. I’d love to be a teacher. 😀
Shalzzz says
It is never bad. All I’m saying is, the options become limited for us after a
Shalzzz says
It is never bad. All I’m saying is, the options become limited for us after a while, it becomes mandatory. So, whether I like teaching or not, if I need a job, I got to have a b.Ed. 🙂 and yeah, good luck to u..
Vinay Leo R. says
Hmm. Yes. You mentioned the tussle in an earlier post too. And when the time comes, I think you’ll take the right call. 🙂
P.S: on a different note, B.Ed isn’t so bad. I’m seriously considering it. I’d love to be a teacher. 😀
Shalzzz says
It is never bad. All I’m saying is, the options become limited for us after a
Shalzzz says
It is never bad. All I’m saying is, the options become limited for us after a while, it becomes mandatory. So, whether I like teaching or not, if I need a job, I got to have a b.Ed. 🙂 and yeah, good luck to u..
Inderpreet Kaur says
This is tough choice indeed, My best wishes to you both.
Inderpreet Kaur says
This is tough choice indeed, My best wishes to you both.