Okay, so everyone loves a good neighbor — you know, that person who brings over some extra tomatoes from their garden or offers to keep an eye on your house while you’re away. And here I am — the unlucky one who won the hundred-to-one lottery and ended up living next to the neighbors-from-hell.
It was a week after my wedding when she asked me, “Why isn’t your hair tied? Where are your bangles? Why are you wearing only your wedding chain? Why don’t you wear more gold? Why are you wearing only a small bindhi? Come here, let me have a look, ohhh… is that a black bindhi?? How can you wear a black one? “
I was confused and didn’t know what was wrong!! And then it dawned on me. I am married now. Though I gave her a plastic smile, what rang at the back of my head was simply outrageous.
‘My fondness, or rather the lack of it, towards a big bindhi seemed to be the vital concern to my neighbor aunt. The fact is, I don’t wear big round bindhis, gold bangles(forget gold, not even a normal one) or toe rings or mangalsutra all the time. Okay, mangalsutra- YES.(I know dear MIL, that you are reading this). It’s not my cup of tea to look like a million dollars all the time. But I just wish she’d stop poking her nose into what I wear and what I don’t! This “process” is so much that she likes to brood over it and I feel like poking her eyes out. I don’t know what it is with most of the people in this country, but minding their own businesses.
I remember her, asking how much I scored on every single test I took – only to compare it with the son of hers. As time passed, the scores had moved to higher grades – to what my “Entrance-test” rank was, which college I got admission into, which Multi-National Company I got placed into, and why I didn’t join it and why I opted for higher studies. God, there was nothing which she never interfered with! It came down to how much I earn and even on whom I should marry. Such concern!! Lucky me!
Interrupting my line of thoughts she had continued, “I don’t know what these girls are up to, ‘Modern’ it seems!!”
Ha! I am living in the so-called ‘modern’ India who sometimes most-of-the-times have a tendency to gasp in horror at the so-called norms of uneducated masses living in rural places – when they treat their women, like this – like cattle belonging to the family who are brought up merely to be given away to ‘suitable’ people chosen by the family or even killing them for daring to defy marriage norms! What norms!!’ I was strictly warned by my mom to always smile and politely decline her queries. That’s especially because she thinks my mouth is like that of a magician’s hat – one never knows what will come out of it.
Today, when I am home after a year , she is still there with the same probing questions. Apparently, even after a year, I do not carry “the sign” mandated for a married Indian woman. She had come over for a cup of coffee (as she calls it) and this time the hullabaloo was “Ha, heard you are even working late nights. Why so, isn’t your husband earning enough? Oh look at you, you have put on so much weight! Wait, are you pregnant? Oh, you are not! Why aren’t you thinking of a baby? It’s been a year, for god’s sake? Are you having any medical issues? Or is it with him?”
Okay. So that’s it. I have reached my breaking point.
All I said was this, “I have noticed you watching over me lately my entire life. But please do not worry, I will take care of myself, and please do not stress yourself or worry yourself to look out for me, because I don’t GIVE “a Sugar Honey Iced Tea” about what you think about me. I believe, you should better check on your daughter as she ran away with the milkman. I haven’t done that and I am very happy with my life unlike you, who doesn’t have any other business than having an eye on what happens in our family. If I need any help I will surely turn up to you.”
She didn’t storm out of my home like in some Bollywood movie.
I expected her to turn red as a beetroot. But neither did that happen.
She simply smiled, patted my cheek and said, “Aww.. meri bacchi…”(Oh, you poor-lil-girl). She drank the cup of coffee, ate the entire plate of samosas and left.
It was my turn to go pale and wait for another set of stories to be heard about me from the entire neighborhood. You know, “Monkey See- Monkey do!! “
This post is part of #CONDITIONSERIOUSHAI contest .
Cadbury 5 Star, you were my saviour when I turned pale. Live, Laugh, Love!!!
dandelionsinwind says
Her reaction to what you said seems strange 🙂
I too face the bindhi issue.I normally don’t wear bindhis much to the annoyment of the neighborhood aunties 😀
Shalzzz says
🙂 🙂 ha!! i don’t know why these “aunties” have so much issue over the bindhis 😛
mrschoux says
This sounds all too familiar. Well done for keeping your cool… I don’t think I could have.
Shalzzz says
hihi….!!! I literally was pulling my hair apart after her “reaction”. 😛
mrschoux says
Lol! I guess you’re too polite to pull hers! Mind you, I’m no different 🙂
darknight says
Lol… gud 1. This happens everywhere. But I’m really surprised by the neighbour lady’s reaction.
Annie says
After reading your wonderful blog , I feel like penning down to u some of the similar experiences even I had… U know I am settled in Bangalore.. The garden City.. Supposed to be one of the cities in India with the so called modern outlook.. well… During my first one year of marriage all my neighbors thought that me n my husband are live-in couples (u know live-ins are so common in bglre) .. there was not even one wedding foto in our house … U know even I don wear gold, Being a Christian I don wear bindi of any kind..nor have any dramas like mangalsutra,,,..no toe ring..dis made them confirm their doubts..atleast am happy i din have to personally hear any of their comments like the ones u keep hearing… I … jus had to tolerate their weird stares everytime they see me.. After one year of marriage i got pregnant n left to my house.. for d next 11 months my husband was alone.. and my neighbors confirmed v had broken off wen one fine morning i walked in again with a baby in my hand..u should have seen the looks on their faces one by one they started visiting us wid gifts for baby nw they knew v were married.. they started talking to me and then started all the comments… “put balck bangles for baby..put black anklets for baby..” “apply kajal..put a kajal bindi for her… ” d worst was once i was givin bath and a neighbor walked in and commented dat the water is too cold and she heated water and gave..imagine!!!.. well..v cant do anything to change their way of thinking i guess..jus go with the flow!!!
Shalzzz says
So sweet of you to share your experience, Annie…I guess, I should be prepared to hear the same when I have a baby!! God!!!! 😛 😛 This is a never-ending agony!!!
sharu4ever says
Niceee 😀 We all have such Auntys wround huh? :O Glad to know Im not the only one going through these 🙂
Shalzzz says
I know!!!! 🙂
Manas Mukul says
I won’t comment anything…just ‘HAHAHAHAHAAA’