Have you ever been in a “Trishanku Heaven“? Where you are dangling in your own paradise and another? I had been – the last week. In fact, I was swinging to and forth among three choices- each one better than the other. All I had to do was pick. And the choice I tell you, is life changing.
I have never been given choices. I was always been told what to do and what not to. I have done things where my heart was never in place. Shamelessly I admit that it was easy to blame others because I lived on their choices. And all of a sudden when I was showered with a few good ones, I panicked. I’m still panicking as I type this. Because clearly I haven’t picked one.
I somehow feel that life always gave me surprises only to snatch it away from right under my nose. This time too, it may not be different. But, I’m taking my time. Because the right choice is never an easy choice.
I’m trying to snap out of the dilemma I’ve found myself in. I have read some amazing books, cooked good food, danced to my hearts content, smiled more often and yes, prayed with all my heart. I do not believe that you should visit a temple to reach out to God. But it’s been a while since I’ve prayed. I may have wept for a good one hour pouring my worries and sadness that was filling my heart. But in the end, I was surprised to find myself happy. Or shall I say, peaceful?
There are many bits and pieces in life that makes me question my own happiness. But without those, would I be the way I am? It makes me wish at times not to be so soft-hearted and have tears every time. I sometimes wish I could be mean and scream at people for breaking my trust and thereby my heart. But no! I’m still going on- grinning and bearing. Because I know that at the end of the tunnel there is always light. And when you finally get to that light it gives you such a high! Higher than a shot of tequila! 😉
So, when life gives you lemons…grab tequila and salt! 😀